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Dripping Springs Weekly Bulletins
Make Your Marriage Last 50+ Years
Marriage has taken some shots lately, from comics and movie stars, presidents and preachers. It almost seems good marriages are almost extinct in today’s world. But that should not be true among Christians.
We often hear that half of all marriages end in divorce, but that is not really true. The numbers are more like one in three, which is bad enough. God “hates divorce,” Malachi 2:16, and has made it clear that marriage is for life, Romans 7:2-3, 1 Corinthians 7:39. It was Jesus who said, “What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder,” Mark 10:9. When a man and woman marry, they make a covenant with each other and with God. To break that covenant is sin, and requires repentance.
In just the last few weeks I have come to realize that several of our members have been married for over 50 years. They are to be commended for keeping their covenant with each other and with God.
- Neal and Fran Bangs—51 years
- Marvin and Mary Crumley—52 years
- Billy and Alma Garnett—56 years
- Harland and Zudie Moore—51 years
- Doug and Willie Ray Morgan—62 years
- Bud and Gwen Worthy—60 years next month
Add to that number the Reddings—47 years, the Dalleys—47 years, the Billy Hydes—48 years, and we have a number of good examples of those who know what marriage is and how to keep it going as God has commanded. Congratulations to all of you.
I doubt if any of those mentioned above would suggest that there were no disagreements or problems in their years of marriage. Nor did God promise marriage would eliminate all discord. But when the right attitude toward God’s Word and each other exists, any problem can and will be worked out.
The following are some qualities that must be found in a marriage if it is to be the home God commends:
- The determination to make your marriage work no matter what problems arise. Many enter into marriage with the attitude, “We’ll try it out and see if it works.” But that very attitude can be the downfall of any endeavor, whether it be at school, on the job, or in your marriage. Make up your mind that your marriage is going to work.
- A mutual desire to “Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness,” Matthew 6:33. When problems arise in marriage—and they always do—they must be solved with biblical principles. If both husband and wife are Christians committed to being faithful to God, divorce will never be an option.
- A relationship built upon love and respect. The well-known words of 1 Corinthians 13:1-7 describe the way any Christian should deal with life. What a beautiful gift God has given to us—the gift of being able to love and be loved. Genuine love can solve any problem and make marriage a “vestibule of heaven.”
- Strong parental guidance. No home can be happy and as good an influence as God wants it to be if children are not being trained and taught godly behavior. Discipline and encouragement result in pleasant surroundings for all, as well as hope for the future. I have been told by others that there is no ache so sharp as heartache for a rebellious child. Read 1 Samuel 3:1-10, Judges 2:10 and Proverbs 22:6.
- Each one carrying out his/her role in the family. We know there must be order—even a chain of command—in any endeavor, and the home is no different. Fathers have a role to fulfill. Mothers have their responsibilities. Children have an important place in the family. You can be sure that if you follow God’s instructions your home can be happy and productive of much good. See Ephesians 5-6, 1 Peter 2-3.
- Putting your approval on “things that are excellent.” This was the prayer of Paul for the Philippians (1:9-11), and better words could not be used to describe a home in which love, fairness, righteousness and good works abound. How can any family be peaceful and content when drunkenness, abuse, adultery and fear exist. Consider the “fruit of the Spirit,” Galatians 5:23-26, as qualities needed in the family trying to rear children in the ways of truth.
- An environment in which “iron sharpeneth iron,” Proverbs 27:17. There are times when husband, wife and children all serve as exhortation to do our best, to make full use of our time and talents. This calls on wives to strengthen the resolve of their husbands, and vice-versa. Children often serve as strong reminders of what a home should be. In this, we spur each other on to greater service to God and man.
Thanks to the Bangs, Crumleys, Garnetts, Moores, Morgans, Worthys, Reddings, Dalleys and Hydes. You are a genuine inspiration to all of us.
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“The difficulty with marriage is that we fall in love with a personality, but must live with a character.”
“It takes two to make marriage a success, but only one to make it a failure.”
“God help the man who will not marry until he finds the perfect woman, and God help him more if he finds her.”
“Marriage resembles a pair of scissors, so joined that they cannot be separated; often moving in opposite directions, yet always punishing anyone who comes between them.”
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Tragedies and the Will of God
Part 2 of 3
What do you say to people who have suffered so greatly? How do you answer the question, "Was this the will of God?" Weatherhead concluded from his study of Scripture that the will of God contains three dimensions. His explanation is not the only one, and it may not even be the best one. It certainly does not answer all the questions. But it is a biblical explanation, and one that gives us valuable insight into this difficult problem. According to Weatherhead, the three dimensions are the intentional will of God, the circumstantial will of God, and the ultimate will of God. The failure to distinguish among these three dimensions is what causes much of our confusion about God's will as it relates to suffering.
The first dimension is the intentional will of God. God's intention and desire is that mankind enjoy the best He has to offer. God is not out to see how much misery He can inflict on people. He intends that every person have peace, adequate provisions, and fulfillment in life. He causes the sun to rise on the just and the unjust (Matthew 5:45). He wants no one to perish, but all to come to salvation (2 Peter 3:9). He does not plot evil and tragic events in the lives of good people. God is good and gracious and kind and compassionate. He wants only what is best for us. That is His intentional will.
The second dimension is the circumstantial will of God. When God created the universe and made man, he did two things: He created an orderly world that operates on dependable rules, which we call "laws of nature," and He created us with a free will and the ability to make decisions and choices. Let us look at the importance of those two items as they relate to the circumstantial will of God.
God created a natural world that is regular, rhythmical and systematic. He established rules by which the created world would function orderly, consistently and predictably. Think of how essential that is. What if the solar system were so irregular that the sun rose one day, but maybe it would not the next? Or if the seasons were so unpredictable that a blizzard came one day and a heat wave the next? What if gravity worked only three days a week, but no one could predict which days those would be? See what total confusion and chaos would exist if not for those unchangeable laws that God has put into motion? As long as we abide by the laws of nature, life runs fairly smoothly. But when we break the laws of nature, for whatever reason, even if it is only accidental, we suffer the consequences. It really can be no other way.
We need to see how that orderly universe relates to our power of free will. Made in God's image, we have freedom of choice. With our freedom we make decisions that are both wise and foolish. With our freedom we determine whether we will abide by God's laws or go against them.
Take, for example, the law of gravity. One man in desperation decides he is going to kill himself. So he goes to the roof of an office building and jumps off. That action was his premeditated decision. Another man is a construction worker who slips and falls off the roof to the pavement below. His death was unplanned. Although the first was a suicide and the second was accidental,, the end result was the same, for the law of gravity operated without respect for the reason for each fall. God did not make either man fall, but the law of gravity, which God designed, operated nonetheless.
Dan Dozier
Gospel Advocate 2/89
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