In the years of World War II, a singer named Tony Roselli recorded a song with the above title. It was one of the most popular songs of that era.
The words of the song may sound a bit “corny” in our modern age, but they pay honor to an attitude toward marriage worthy of today’s respect.
When your old wedding ring was new,
And each dream that I dreamed came true.
I remember with pride
How we stood side by side.
What a beautiful picture
You made as my bride.
Even though silver crowns your hair,
I can still see the gold ringlets there.
Love’s old flame is the same
As the day I changed your name.
When your old wedding ring was new.
Many today consider such thoughts as out-dated and boring. Marriage, as one writer once put it, “is for the moment…there is no way a person can expect permanence in marriage.” Is he right? Is there no way for marriage to have permanence? Is there no way for a marriage to survive the slings and arrows of civilization?
I know of few people who have married hoping it would be temporary. Can men and women really prepare sufficiently for marriage so that it can always be as good as “when your old wedding ring was new”?
Let The Bible Be Your Guide
If there is any one principle that is clear on this subject, it is God’s decree that marriage is “..one man, one woman, for life” (See Mark 10:2-12, Matthew 5:31-31). No one is truly ready for marriage until they understand what God says about it. Many good books have been written on the subject, but God’s Book is best because it was God who ordained marriage. It will tell you if you and your “intended” are eligible to marry. It will guide you with words of wisdom about relating to your spouse, rearing your children and how to enjoy the “abundant” life, John 10:10. Read it, study it and let it be your most important guide to a good marriage and a happy life.
Make Your Marriage Permanent
If you don’t determine beforehand that your marriage will be “for keeps”, divorce will always be an “option” in your mind and that of your spouse. That old “we’ll see if we can get along, and if not we’ll split the sheets and start over” mindset is fraught with eternal danger. On the other hand, if you determine that you will overcome every obstacle and every problem, you will not only be more careful in your choice of a mate, but you will always seek to solve your problems, not dissolve them.
Don’t Be Ashamed To Seek Help
It’s no crime to need help. Yes, it does take a bit of humility to do so, but marriage is too big a step to be taken with insufficient information. Preachers, elders, parents, friends will all be ready to help if they can and if you let them. Find some Christian man or woman who has a good marriage and become good friends.
Love Not Defined By Hollywood
There is more to love than sex, moonlight and music. The Bible uses the word “love” to describe a husband’s attitude toward his wife:
“Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it,” Ephesians 5:25.
Love, in this text, is a word that goes beyond emotion. It demands that the one who loves do so to the extent that the one loved has their best interests served. Even if we have to give up our own preferences, we will love our wife. Wives exhibit their love for their husband by their willingness to be in subjection to him, Ephesians 5:22, 1 Peter 3:1. What an ideal arrangement that can be, for both wife and husband, woman and man. Music and moonlight play a part in the love a man and woman enjoy together, but it is much deeper and much more profound than that. Before you marry, you need to know what “love” really is.
Learn What Marriage is All About
Some go into marriage with unrealistic expectations, while others do so for foolish reasons. Many are not mature enough to realize marriage and a family will take work, and that both husband and wife will have to share that work. This is something that must be discussed long before the wedding ceremony. No man is too good to wash a dish or two. No man is above changing a diaper. No woman is above pulling the weeds. Husband and wife do what is needed, and do so because they love each other and they love the children they bring into this world. You cannot afford to enter into a marriage without knowing what a marriage really is or demands.
Get Familiar With the Word “We”
Marriage is a “we” situation, and when “I” becomes too prominent, the whole relationship becomes lop-sided. Selfishness in any relationship will destroy all that is good within it. When a guy and a girl realize that success in marriage is a two-way-street, they are well on their way to fulfillment.
There are lots of “old wedding rings” here today, and that speaks volumes about the love and understanding that exists, and the work that has been done. Congratulations!
