In a Senior Literature class our English teacher introduced us to the names and writings of literary giants. Shakespeare and Keats, of course, but others less familiar. The title of one author’s book remained in my mind, a book written by Thomas Wolfe: “You Can’t Go Home Again.” That title haunted me, especially since I would shortly leave home myself.
Why can’t someone “go home again” lingered in my mind. I knew it had a deeper meaning than merely returning to the home place, but what did it mean?
Later that year I discovered a small part of the meaning. Having been away from home for three months, going home was not the same. The house was not the same. I was not the same. Nothing was the same. I was trying to spread my wings. My place in that home was different. It was home but it was different.
Yes, It may be different, but you can go home again. First we must discover what “home” means, what you learned there. What is “home” supposed to be? For what purpose did God establish the home? Biblically, home is where we learn the things we need to know when we really leave home. What should home teach us? What should we learn at “home”?
ALL ABOUT MARRIAGE
Children need to be taught God’s plans for marriage, for the home. One thing each child must learn is that marriage is permanent, and that God “hates divorce,” Malachi 2:16. Children must know from their youth that marriage is for life, for “better or for worse,” as we say. Preachers often teach this, but parents must teach it, too.
“SEEK FIRST THE KINGDOM…”
For a marriage to succeed, both husband and wife must be “one” in their efforts. Their resolve to serve God must be strong. In order for that to be true, both must be ready to put the Lord’s Word and works in first place in their everyday plans. Jesus said it that way, that we must seek God’s Kingdom “first” in every way, Matthew 6:33.
Note the word “both” in this matter. It will not do for only one spouse to put God first – it must be “both.” That means marrying someone who will also “seek” God’s Kingdom first. With the Bible as my authority, I say:
- Marry a Christian – not one with just their name on the roll, but a dedicated, faithful Christian.
- Determine together to be true to God.
- Agree together that nothing will ever change that decision.
ACCEPT YOUR ROLE IN THE HOME
Each person in a home has a place, a role to play. Someone must lead – and someone must follow. This is true in every institution.
The Bible guides us in discovering our roles. In 1 Corinthians 11:3 we find God’s authority principle:
“I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.”
Other passages support that point, including Ephesians 5:22-28, Colossians 3:18 and 1 Peter 3:1.
This is not a power struggle. This is not a “me first” situation, but merely giving way to God’s way. When we do it God’s way, it is better for all members of a family. Strife and quarrels have no place to begin. That’s something children need to see in their home. When they come “home again”, they can thank Mom and Dad that they were taught God’s way. It’s not only a way that is in harmony with God’s will, but it is a way that leads to genuine peace and true happiness. Thanks, Mom and Dad!
LEAVING A LEGACY
These many years later I think of the days in my father’s house. I recall times when money was scarce and what Dad called “frills” were few and far between. I recall some home-made clothes and a few meals that included a dish of Spam. I recall an old black Ford that had neither a heater nor a radio. I guess I wanted things to be better, just as my parents did, but I don’t recall those times being filled with despair.
I was left with a legacy that taught me things that words could never teach. The hand-me-down clothes were just like my friends wore, for they had similar financial circumstances. I wanted the same things others wanted, but these many years later I am glad I did not have everything I wanted. I am glad my Mom made some of my clothes. I’m even glad I had a taste of Spam occasionally, though I hated every bite.
My wish is for all of us to learn how to “go home again” in our thoughts and in our memories. You may discover that your early years prepared you for life in ways that nothing else could.
I “go home again” often, by means of pictures, old home movies and talking with my brother. Thomas Wolfe may have said “you can’t go home again,” but I do so often. And what I find there is still precious to me, and I would not change a thing about it.
Leave a great legacy for your children, and if they are wise they will thank you for it and want to “go home again.”
