Fathers – and mothers – often teach when they do not realize they are doing so. In fact those may be the most significant lessons they do teach. How they deal with daily problems; how they react to illness and tragedy; how they face being mistreated – all of these reveal more to a child than we realize.
It often is a surprise to us when we find just how much our children want to follow in our steps. Years ago, a father with a young son wrote a poem revealing how this thought “startled” him:
“To get his goodnight kiss he stood
Beside my chair one night
And raised an eager face to me.
A face with love alight.
And as I gathered in my arms
The son God gave to me,
I thanked the lad for being good,
And hoped he’d always be.
His little arms crept round my neck,
And then I heard him say
Four simple words I shan’t forget ---
Four words that made me pray.
They turned a mirror on my soul,
On secrets no one knew.
They startled me – I hear them yet;
He said, “I’ll be like you!”
Yes, “I’ll be like you” can be a sobering reminder to any parent that your children will follow your example. You know your own flaws and weaknesses, but you may think they will have no impact on them.
I recall a young man from fifty- plus-years-ago telling of his father’s example in a very memorable way.
The year was 1939. The setting was a community in northwest Texas, and in addition to the problems of a depression there was a severe spring drought. Two weeks before had seen a welcome rain, however, and the crops were coming up and showing signs of productivity.
Then came the hail and wind storm. It lasted only about forty minutes, but when it was over the grain was beaten down and hope for a bountiful harvest all but gone.
The seven-year-old boy whom I later knew in college said he had expected his father to throw up his hands in despair – perhaps to “curse God and die.” Instead, that night after supper, the family had gathered and prayed to God, giving thanks for all the blessings they had received. They asked for strength to face the coming days.
He remembered them singing “What a Friend We Have in Jesus,” and him thinking of his father’s strength and great faith.
I’m embarrassed that I don’t recall his name, but a few years ago I heard from others that he had a faith much like his father’s. It may be that his father did not realize just how much that day’s events influenced his son, but I’m glad I knew him back then and heard that story told.
Similar remembrances of faithful and loving mothers are not scarce for many of us, and their memory remains with us. Fathers, though this subject may be less associated with them, have the capability to leave a legacy that will last through many generations and be carried on by children and grandchildren alike. Our examples live on!
Reading in the Old Testament about the kings of Israel, it is not unusual to read that some of those kings caused Israel to sin. In 1 Kings 12 we read of the faithless Jeroboam who lead God’s people away from Him. These following words reveal his attitude, and his actions resulted in the fall of many. Note verses 28-30:
“Whereupon the king took counsel, and made two calves of gold, and said unto them, It is too much for you to go up to Jerusalem: behold thy gods, O Israel, which brought thee up out of the land of Egypt. And
he set the one in Bethel, and the other put he in Dan. And this thing became a sin.”
The legacy left by Jeroboam was just the opposite of that father in my previous story. The ten tribes who were under the rule of Jeroboam left their place of safety in the hands of God and that safety was turned to captivity, sin, loss of life and loss of standing with Jehovah. From 1 Kings 12 through 2 Kings 23 we are given the names of seventeen kings of Israel who followed the example of Jeroboam, who “made Israel to sin.” What one person does has an effect upon what other persons do – it’s called “influence”!
Neither fathers nor mothers can do their best alone. Young children growing up in a home with a mother who loves her husband and a husband who loves his wife have a head start on those who do not.
No team exists that is more powerful, more effective than a father and a mother who love their children and determine to leave a legacy for them. A legacy to do good, to love God and respect His word, to lead others in God’s “right way” (1 Samuel 12:23, 2 Peter 2:15). May their tribe increase!
A good exercise in this challenge is to recall your own childhood and search for such challenges you were given by your parents. Or, if you received little in this regard, note how that affected you in your life. Memories like that can have a bearing on your life and the lives of those who love you. Much of the strength of today’s children will depend upon their parents, and
their strength and faith.
