A Boston Globe correspondent has spoken out on the recent “affairs” of prominent men. His comments deal with families in the midst of such behavior, and he reflects upon the effect it has upon the children. He is right on target in stating that a family is torn apart, ruptured, damaged, and especially the children.
“There are two losses for the child. The hurt partner is often filled with anxiety and depression and is not available to the child the same way as before. The unfaithful parent is off with the affair person and is not available to the child. The family blows apart.”
His observations are correct, and the impact on the family is almost impossible to heal. Relationships are destroyed.
But I have a question for those who are making these charges. What’s wrong with a husband having a fling with another woman? Or a wife having an affair with another man? I was under the impression that man had decided that there are no objective moral codes. We have been bombarded with words from today’s “experts” who say we should cease from imposing our morality upon others. In fact, we have been given names to these ideas – terminology like “pluralism,” “situation ethics... the new morality,” “relativism.”
A lot of us are confused. Is it a terrible moral violation for a man to “have an affair”? If so, he may pay a serious penalty for doing so. On the other hand, he may find those who will defend his behavior and castigate those who demand punishment for him on the grounds of the absence of ethical standards.
A Senator takes time out from his work to fly to Argentina for a tryst with his “lover.” It is a story for the front page of every newspaper. But is it a scandal? Or did he just make a real big “mistake”?
The wives of these philanderers pay a heavy price, even though their husbands have “done nothing wrong”; they have merely made a terrible mistake?
A retired NFL quarterback is found dead in the apartment of his “girl friend,” who was found dead a few feet away. Will this be regarded as a scandal? Or is it merely another “mistake”? It appears that it depends upon who writes the story, or who the media representative happens to be.
Let’s be honest with this issue, and “tell it like it is.” This is not a matter that is decided in the morning newspaper, or even in the courtroom, but in the very ethical, moral codes known by all of us. You can make excuses all day long and it will not change the fact that sin has been committed.
You say some do not recognize the Bible as the standard of moral behavior? That may be the case, but it changes nothing at all. Others have attempted to make that plea, and it may work in some areas of civil law, but no one is exempt from the law of God. That goes for Senators, athletes, lawyers, entertainers – and preachers.
The Boston Globe writer said:
“Here we are, a human race that can peer billions of light years into space, communicate in a click with someone 12,000 miles away, and cure all kinds of diseases, yet we cannot find the carnal off-switch.”
We can, we could, but it is evident that we do not want to enough to control our appetites.
The difference is that ethics are not merely technology, but a challenge to a human mind with a decision to live by the codes of ethics or ignore them. It would be easier if our conscience was hitched to some electrical outlet, but instead it is attached to our mind, our will, our real character. Such choices reveal what kind of person we really are, not just what we want others to think about us.
Man may call it an “affair”, but God calls it adultery, sin. And there is no higher court to which one might appeal.
The best thing for all of us to do is to discover what the Bible says about ethics, choices and morals, and then live in harmony with it. We certainly will be judged by it (John 12:48)!
