My father died in 1984 leaving my mother alone. I remember the first time I went there after his death. It was like going into an empty house. Some may not have thought of him as “a live wire,” but his presence was always special. It was strange to be in a house that had been so “alive” in my growing up years…now so “empty.”
Mother told me how it felt when my brother and I “left home,” and she didn’t like it. Many families feel that same way when a house full of children becomes “just Mom and Dad”. Some sadness is normal, but that house can be a happy and fulfilled “house” if our children have the foundation of a “happy home” of their own.
Many years ago my mother passed along an article she had read. Some tears were shed as she described her thoughts coming from that article, written by H. G. Stubblefield. The very nature of the material could produce tears in any parent, but at the same time bring warm memories to mind. The following is the heart of our brother’s thoughts about that now-empty house, including the feelings and memories that came from it:
The rooms in our house sound completely empty, although they are filled with beautiful furniture. There is no patter of little feet in the long hallway. The little cradle, the playpen, the high chair and the baby bed are stored in the attic. There are no toys scattered over the floor for us to pick up. A rag doll, a set of toy dishes, a ball, a glove, and a cap are piled in the corner of a closet. Some soiled storybooks gather dust on the shelf.
We hear no cry of fear in the night caused by a troubled dream, or a plea for a drink of water at the midnight hour. There are no little voices asking a thousand questions or begging for a Bible story. There are no little warm bodies cuddled close in our arms seeking comfort and safety, or to have a childish heartache eased. There are no little curly heads bowed in prayer beside the bed at night. There are no “good night kisses.”
There is no sound of laughter in the yard from children playing. There are no little faces to wash, ears to inspect, no hair to brush in preparation for school or church services. There are no scuffing of shoes on the front walk and slamming of doors as they rush in from school to raid the refrigerator. And I thought of the passage in the Bible that said, “…whilethyservants were busy here and there, they were gone.”
We hear the postman’s whistle, but we do not rush out expecting a letter from a boy or girl who is away at college. We receive wedding invitations and attend weddings, but they only remind us that while we were “busy here and there,” our own children had slipped away and built homes of their own.
Now we wait day after day, listening and hoping that one or more of our grandchildren will come to visit us; then again we can hear the patter of little feet and childish laughter throughout the house. But, we realize with sad hearts that again while we are “busy here and there”, they too will slip away and be gone from us.
I can imagine the tears that must have flowed when our brother Stubblefield wrote about his empty house. I needed two or three tissues myself by the time I finished reading his article. These feelings need not devastate parents, but a house will have a different “flavor” for a time.
Our influence as parents will diminish as years pass. That’s why they need to be taught long before they leave home. It takes time, patience and steadfast determination. Mom and Dad must love each other, and the children must know that is so. I know of no more blessed thought than that of seeing our own children with children of their own, forming a home experience for their children that will be a pattern for their home and for their children.
Solomon said it well in Psalms 127:1-5:
“Except the Lord build the house, they labor in vain that build it…Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them.”
Yes, it takes work and a few tears, but seeing your children with godly homes of their own is, well beyond description.
