C A R L B. G A R N E R
HE HAD IT ALL; BUT IT WASN'T ENOUGH
He had three children, six grandchildren, and a loving Christian wife. He had been a world-class athlete, being only an eyelash away from the Olympics in his college days. He kept himself in excellent physical condition, competing in athletics, including the Senior Olympics. He was an excellent teacher, a kind, attentive husband and father. He obeyed the gospel years ago and was a good student and teacher of the Bible. His children adored him, and their friends enjoyed coming to his home, but it wasn't enough. On July 10, 1998 he took his own life. Over a thousand friends, neighbors, classmates, former students, relatives and brothers and sisters in Christ were present at the funeral, testifying to the esteem given him as a man.
My friendship with Jimmy went back to the second grade. We chased each other home from Denver Avenue Elementary School. We were on the same track team. We double-dated in high school. We even competed for the affections of the same young lady in our freshman year. We worked in a supermarket in high school, sacking groceries and stocking the shelves. I drove hundreds of miles to watch him run in major track events.
My last conversation with him was two years ago over lunch. But though we were together all those times, I was never aware of the problems he was facing. I know now that he suffered from bouts of deep depression from which he could not recover. He had so much; but it wasn't enough.
The preacher for the funeral, a friend from college days, was under tremendous pressure, considering the circumstances of Jimmy's death and the huge audience present. He spoke of Jimmy's "problems," but there was nothing he could say to answer the question on all our hearts: "Why?" The only thing he could say was, "God knows."
I do not know what events led to the despair that cost his life, but it alarms me that a man with so much could take his own life. What will be the impact of this act upon those six grandchildren? Though his children were very close to him, how will this bear upon their memory of their father? What of his good wife? Will she forever be second-guessing her last hours with him, wondering if she could or should have done something different?
I can't help but feel some guilt; could I have helped if I had known? I cannot know the condition of his soul any more than I can know of the state of his mind in those last hours. I do know that human life is sacred; that man does not have the right to take his own life or that of another. Suicide is from a Latin word that carries the connotation of "self-murder." When a man deliberately takes his own life, he has transgressed a law of God clearly stated in both Old and New Testaments: "Whoso sheddeth man's blood, by man shall his blood be shed: for in the image of God made he man," Genesis 9:6. "Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like....they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God," Galatians 5:21. "Jesus said, Thou shalt do no murder," Matthew 19:18. These passages must be discussed in light of their own context, but they all forbid the taking of human life without specific authority, such as is found in Genesis 9:6 or Romans 13:1-7. They prohibit deliberate acts that result in the death of a human being. Created "in the image of God," there is something about human life that demands our respect and our protection of that life.
What comfort can I offer to those who continue living after a loved one has taken his life? If the taking of life is "murder," and if suicide is a sin for which neither time nor opportunity for repentance remains, then how can I comfort them? I know of no way but to hope that the person was not in control of their behavior; not able to make such a decision with a clear mind. I realize that such a hope is pretty weak, and that no human can truly know that such is the case. I would like to think Jimmy was so incapable of rational thought that God will not hold him responsible for his action. But I cannot honestly say that I know such is true. Therefore, I must forever wonder about his soul. And how much more must his family also wonder about such things.
Willet, in Pulpit Commentary, says suicide is a sin because:
- It is contrary to natural instincts of self-preservation and moderate, modest self-love.
- It is unfaithfulness to a trust committed to man by God in His bestowment of life
- It is an act of cowardice in the presence of real or imagined evils.
- It is prohibited by the divine command, "Thou shalt not kill," Exodus 20:13.
- It is forbidden by all exhortations of the New Testament to endure affliction with patience and reliance upon the love of God.
- It is injurious to others, inflicting much distress upon family, friends and loved ones.
- It is condemned by the example of good men and women who bore the calamities of life with courage. But is supported only by evil men such as Ahithophel and Judas.
Someone might ask, "What would you do if so racked with anguish that you could not take another day?" I don't know. But a better question is: What does God say about human life and our respect for it? What I do or don't do is not the standard.
What a tragedy for a family and a community! Jimmy was a good man in so many ways. His death has been on my mind often. He had so much going for him. He seemed to have it all. Still, it wasn't enough.
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